Work

Rachel Canete, a Sophomore Business Major at The College of New Jersey, who recently took a break with her long distance boyfriend of two years, said in an in-person interview, “I felt a constant need to go through his likes and check who he has been interacting with”.

Social media has played a major role when it comes to relationships because it has grown so vastly. When you meet a person, many times your first reaction is to follow them on social media. People gain hundreds of connections this way. You don’t need to know them that well either, as long as you recognize their face or name then that is the means to add them on social media. This creates problems among college students in relationships because having so many connections with other people causes a lack of trust, due to easy interactions and misinterpretations of what they mean.

The growth of social media has greatly affected the dynamic of relationships. People feel the need to publish their private life on social media for everyone to see. In an in-person interview with Nicole Gamboa, a Sophomore Business Major at The College of New Jersey, says that becoming Facebook official with her boyfriend has made her feel more secure in the relationship because she can show others the love they have for each other. With this information put in the open for all of their friends to see, she feels there is less of a threat for something to happen between the couple.

Another problem social media holds are the many ways to come in contact with other users. There are buttons to like, comment, retweet, share, and message friends. Despite how minor these things sound, they have negatively affected many relationships. This is one of the major issues in most college relationships.

Canete felt that her boyfriend abused his social media privileges and created minor relationships with other women online, causing them to believe that they were a bit more than just friends, “I would see messages from other girls who were flirting with my boyfriend, and I don’t think he understood how serious this was to me.” People often think that because a message is not direct and flirtatious, it is okay, but there always tends to be something more when it comes to these messages.

It can often be very simple to find a lot of information about a person based on their social media. A person’s interactions say a lot because it may prove that they are untrustworthy or that they do no wrong. Many times people go through their significant others social media and end up disappointed, like Canete. They find them talking to someone else, no matter how harmless the conversation may be, resulting in fights and break ups.

Labels are often common when looking through social media. Gamboa said, “Social media has made relationships more complicated because there is a stronger need for labels”. People feel pressured into putting their relationship on a pedestal for all to see on social media because they want to gain attention and approval of their relationship. The thinking behind this is that if people know somebody is in a relationship, they will back off and not interfere.

In many cases, this is not true. People do not always respect other people, so they look for ways to come at a relationship and find out how strong it really is or how easily it can be broken. When a relationship does not have a strong foundation, problems arise.

The use of retweets and subtweeting is a major problem in a relationship. It is a common trend on Twitter to retweet song lyrics. Problems in relationships arise when a person retweets negative or sad song lyrics that may be directed at their partner. This may cause others to believe that they are having relationship troubles, or are not together anymore, when they usually just felt like retweeting the lyrics. People often subtweet others, when they tweet about a specific person and what they did, but do not include a name and make it a very general statement. This can cause tension between couples who should not be putting up dramatic posts because it attracts drama and attention from other users, trying to cause a problem.

People tend to make statuses about what is going on in their relationship. When a couple is fighting, they sometimes choose song lyrics or post their mood to show others that things are not going smoothly in their love life. This may be a cry for help, or simply a person being dramatic.

These actions may be used as an opportunity for others to ruin a relationship. The couple is already in a negative place, and when others swoop in, this would only make things work. When a relationship is placed in the open, nothing good will result.

Sometimes people post too many pictures of themselves with their partner. People interpret this as a front to make up for a bad relationship, or they simply want to flaunt the fact that they are in a relationship.

On the flip side, people who do not post pictures with their significant other are sometimes called out for being too private. This can mean that they do not feel the need to express their love for their partner in public because they are content showing only their partner, or it can mean that they are hiding something and may not want people to know they are in a relationship.

Social media clearly has its own dynamic way of working. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways people who use social media must always keep in the back of their head.

Most importantly being cautious of what is liked and commented on has to always be remembered. Everyone can see a person’s every move on social media and this is very scary to people, as it was for Canete. They may do something they think is okay, and someone like their significant other might interpret that action as something completely different.

The impact that social media has on dating and relationships is so grand, people must be very careful of not sending the wrong message, and they must be very smart when it comes to their actions. Relationships shouldn’t come with stressing about whether or not a couple is Facebook official, and should revolve around the happiness two people bring each other and the love they share.